Edit: I have to commute 1,5 hours oneway to get to work. HomeOffice is allowed 2 times a week. So I am leaving when my son is still in bed and come back when he is in bed again. Thing is, the money is good and the job is kind of a dream job for me.
Edit2: Wow! Thank you for your comments. These are exactly the thoughts Inhad in my mind, but couldn’t point my fingers on them. Unfortunately there is no way to get more days wfh, because high management says so. So i came to the descision to either ask for part time or get the new job asap
I was on similar threads on Reddit where 90% of the replies were: “do it! do it! who gives a fuck! do it!”, and here the replies seem to be 90% “actually we care about what happens to you, so let’s weigh the pros and cons”. I guess it says a lot about the difference between both communities. 😉
Write down on a bit of paper “I want to spend more time with my son, I can always find another job”, then flip it over and write “I’m going to spend my time on work, I can always have another kid” and see how you feel.
Don’t quit unless you have a new job first. I had a friend quit first and he’s still looking over 8 months later.
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Yep. The old adage is “its easier to find work when you’re working”
I’ve always found it harder to find a job when I was not working vs. when I was.
It’s a tough market at the moment, so it’s never a bad time to start looking, but I wouldn’t quit until I had something in hand
The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that just because you are spreading your resume around you have to leave eventually. Actively pursue other opportunities while still giving your current job all the attention it warrants.
I last started looking for a job because I had an asshole manager, but didn’t find anything worth leaving over, so I stayed. That guy eventually failed upwards, out of my management chain. But I eventually got hooked up with my current job based on that search. I wouldn’t say it’s a dream job, but it’s definitely better.
Don’t quit your dream job. You have 4 days per week at home and a job you love. That is a dream to a lot of people.
This. And you can move closer if you intend to keep this job and have a pretty good feeling that they won’t fire you. Especially if you’re currently renting, just look at closer rentals when your lease is coming up.
I guess that’s really the POV you need to look at. There are 7 days a week and you only have to travel on 3 of them. That’s better than most people. I am a firefighter and I don’t see my home for 3 days a week. Sounds crazy but I love my schedule compared to family/friends that are gone 5 days a week through the day. They may sleep in their bed at night, but that’s about it.
Tough one. But here’s how I would decide.
3 days a week of not being able to see your kid is a big price to pay. You can do it if it is meaningfully taking you somewhere. To the next level. Something. But can you keep doing this forever? I couldn’t. I’d only be able to do it for a finite period because it would move the needle on our lives somehow.
I think you should look into trying to move closer to where you work. If that’s not possible then look for a different job, set it up first, then go ahead with quitting this one.
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If your employer would not want to lose you, think about what would make it work better for you and then talk to your manager. More days WFH, or shorter hours on days you’re in the office, or a big fat relocation package, or whatever works for you.
If they can’t/won’t help, don’t quit until you have another job lined up. Make sure they know it’s why you’re leaving.
I would ask, what do you value more? You’re career or your family?
Definitelyy my family, but as this is kind of my dreamjob, this is a tough decision
Can you use your home office days to look for other work that’s closer to home or is wfh? A commute like that is incomprehensible to me. I’m lucky enough that I have never worked more than 20 minutes from my house, and I don’t even apply to jobs that are further away. I understand not everyone can do that she to their industry and costs of living in certain areas, but 3 hours a day of commute is brutal.
In my mind, if you’re missing out on time with your family, especially your child, it’s a no brainier. But, because you have a family to support, you should find a new job before you quit this one. A job you like and quality time at home is better than your dream job and missing all the milestones of growing up.
Is moving closer to your work not an option?
Unfortunately no, just bought a house
Wait…you just bought a house 1.5h away from your good paying dream job? WTF is wrong with you? Bail on the house, eat the loss and move closer.
Okay, that said, I was in your position 20 years ago. It wasn’t my dream job and it wasn’t great pay, but it was a field I was moving into and it was steady work. I found some land an hour away from my job and built my dream house from scratch. FF two years, I’ve got an 8 month old and I’m in your boat with the evenings and mornings and never seeing her.
After some number crunching I quit my job and opened my own business. In my first 8 months I made nothing. I burned through the 10k in savings and startup money and another 10k I’d made doing jobs. In my second year I grossed 60k - almost enough to replace my salary, not including any benefits. We were living off my wife’s salary for that time. By year 4 my wife quit her job to work part time for me (accountant) and rest of the time be with the kid. Got our asses kicked in 09 and spent all my salary on my employees (still had to drop one) and three years later things were okay but I closed the office and moved to work from home as a single consultant. The last decade has been wonderful and the clientele and self determination means I’m around for pretty much every event DD does. I’m still middle class (call it 75-80th percentile) - no new car in the drive, sold the dream home to move into a small 1960s house in town to get a better school district. Life is good and I’m glad I didn’t stay at my job.
I was lucky and nobody should ever underestimate how much luck goes into success. You having a good paying, enjoyable job. That’s pretty damned lucky. Think hard before rolling the dice but if you do - may the wind be at your back.
Bought the house more than a year ago, landed the job 4 months ago
You might find this article helpful:
https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/06/the-true-cost-of-commuting/
Can you bump the morning start for a late start, and just finish later? Would it reduce the commute time by being off peak? Having mornings with your son is not bad.
