Have we really become so unempathetic as a society that the act of putting yourself in others’ shoes is unbelievable to the point that people assume you must be part of the group you’re defending? So I often see people being unfairly discriminatory and mean to certain types, attributes or qualities of people, which I know some would be offended and hurt by. But whenever I stick up for them, I get comments like this: “Tell me you’re x without telling me you’re x”. “F*** off, x”. A good example is gay people or trans people. I get heavily criticised for defending them and people immediately assume that I’m gay or trans just because I’m expressing that I empathise with how they’re treated in society and think people should be kinder toward them. There are lots of other examples but I’m worried I’ll be antagonised here just by saying them, so I picked some slightly more socially acceptable ones (yes there are some far less socially acceptable things than LGBT these days, in my experience, despite the rampant LGBTphobia).
It takes mental effort to defend a group, or to engage in good faith discussion at all, really. People tend to pick up on key buzzwords that get thrown around a lot by certain groups and use those to gauge whether the discussion is going to be worth continuing. Concern-trolling and “I’m just asking questions” is quite common in these contexts, so both sides do this, to be honest.