Fucking phones, how do they work?

Oh, perhaps I have a project.

This requires not renting. A luxury not all of us have.

No shopping involved if I just hire friends and family.

Amazon will make me so much money that I can afford to hire people to shop other places for me.

IDK, hailing a taxi is fine in the red area if the elbow is at least slightly bent, wrist rotated, and space between fingers. Extra points if waving.

Nice.

Wait, is that why people were taking ivermectin? Not to cure COVID, but to get rid of their Jesus heart worm?

The gun and Christian fundamentalist one.

This is the right amount of crazy that I’m not sure if it’s honest or parody for this country.

Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he’s in my heart, checkmate atheists.

Nice day.

HyperX. I forget which model they are, but they’re very sturdy and still work well 7 years later.

Yeah, that’s how I got my current gaming headphones. Drunk me choose decently well.

A love story for the ages.

I said not me, as in I’m not a subject of Stockholm Syndrome in the culture I was born into.

I’m gonna poop on your bed.

Pssh, not me. I was born into a homophobic redneck culture and I hated it. I now consider myself an LGBTQ+ ally and computer nerd.

His name is literally Timothy Alan Dick.

Tim Allen is a Dick.

Highway interchange ahead?