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Cake day: June 25th, 2023

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  • A couple years later we got to hang out with Exene for about an hour or so. Just the three of us. She’s both off the charts crazy and unbelievably kind. It’s a strange juxtaposition that fits her perfectly.

    That happened because by random chance, several hours before the show, she saw my daughter wearing an Exene T-shirt, so she came up to us and we all just started talking.

    At the end of the show, she personally gave my daughter the set list and one of DJ’s drum sticks.

    That was one helluva day for us.


  • Sharing music has been a thing between us since I used to make up stupid songs to sing to her in the bouncy chair.

    We played endless CDs on car trips when she was little and we’d sit out in the back yard listening to music on nice days.

    When she learned to read, she would have me print out lyrics so she could sing along.

    I took her to her first concert when she was thirteen - X and Blondie at the state fair.

    We’ve gone to hundreds of shows since, built a substantial record collection together, driven around the country to attend festivals, met and hung out with lots of musicians, and now we send each other links and suggestions since we live several states apart.

    She became a hell of a sax player and a reasonably competent guitar player through all of it.

    It’s been the best bonding experience ever.






  • All the alternatives you suggest don’t accomplish what the military does - transforming a person into a non-thinking unconditional follower of orders.

    I’ve seen time and time again when veterans come into the civilian working world. The boss tells them to impale their hand to the desk, and they’ll ask which hand, what gauge nail, and what type of hammer. On the other hand, you put them in a situation that requires individual decision making, no matter how small, and they’ll be entirely lost.

    These are solely my experiences and probably don’t apply to every man, woman, and child who has ever worn the uniform.




  • I lived in Southern California in the early nineties on very little money. The only real “hardship” was that I needed a co-signer to rent an apartment until I was about twenty five.

    Other than that, it’s not like I was living in luxury, and I certainly could not have bought a house, but it was comfortably doable on slightly more than minimum wage. (And several of my classmates did buy houses in southern California on starting salaries while still in their twenties)

    I make roughly seven times more money now, and feel like I wouldn’t be able to afford a two bedroom apartment anywhere in California.

    It wasn’t harder then. At least not for me.

    But we did have a way better music environment. Like a lot better. I can say this because I spent the 2010s taking my daughter to hundreds of shows at every size and style of venue imaginable. It was a lot of fun. It was our thing. But it didn’t compare to the vibe back in my time. Everything got gentrified. Even the “dive” venues felt suburban.

    Entertainment in general has gotten a whole lot greedier while providing a whole lot less.





  • This year the shipping has gone from two days from ordering to two days from processing to two weeks to maybe we’ll just lose the order entirely.

    Add to that that so many of the sellers seem to have migrated over from the eBay “hey look at this cheap knockoff crap that fell off a truck” crowd, and I’m just not seeing the benefit anymore.

    My renewal is a week from today. I think I’m going to cancel by then.

    I really don’t know where I go from here vis a vis online ordering. Probably just use my boss’ account when there’s something that I just can’t get anywhere else.




  • To the comments of old people on Facebook - I’m fifty one years old. I deactivated but did not delete my Facebook account five years ago.

    This past fall, one of our high school classmates finally succumbed to his addictions. He and I were inseparable back in the day to the extent that if anybody thought of one of us, they automatically thought of the other.

    So I felt compelled to say a few words. I reactivated my account, and said my words. I was shocked at the number of replies I got because I couldn’t believe that many people were still using the platform. I figured everybody would have left by now.

    I left my post up for a week, then deactivated my account again.

    Ten years ago, Facebook was a great way to meet women for people in my age group. Unfortunately, when there’s a contentious breakup and you’ve got hundreds of mutual friends, it could and did turn into a social hell scape. That’s what got me to leave. I think I got out before the rampant disinformation really got going. For this, I am grateful. (Coda to this topic: Ladies, seriously, what drives you to aggressively slide into my DMs when you see I’ve recently been through a horrible breakup? Why would you think this is a good time to pursue me? This happened with several people. I did not understand it and found it horribly off-putting.)

    Unfortunately, without social media, I’ve found it difficult to stay in touch with friends who live far away. But that little downside is not enough for me to go back.