Hatandwatch [he/him, she/her]

Shit did I miss a memo? Are we doing a bit where we defend the morality of the US constitution? Hold on everyone, I call the 13th amendment!

When your gator disguise fails because you can’t abandon the comfort of your crocs.

Mandatory bees nutz

Humanity is God’s collective nepo-fail-upwards-son.

It’s camouflage from perverts and Terfs.

Calipers are strictly for measuring the brainpan of undesirables.

Pedantic much? Have you coasters ever seen a landboat? Everyone here has seen a sail disappear at the horizon of the great plains.

People get real busybody when they see me driving on a donut for two weeks. Like dude this is the tenth time I’ve done this with the same donut. Random shit can fail any time, I’m not falling for that particular paranoia.

Holy hell