If I remember the story about it, van halen productions were way bigger than most, on the order of 18 semis worth of equipment compared to a normal production’s two semis. The candy thing was a quick and dirty way to check that the venue had followed the instructions for everything else to the letter, because it would get complicated if they hadn’t.

Weren’t a few pigeons also, erm, bitten off?

I was extremely happy when we replaced the carpet in the bathroom. Walking into a carpeted bathroom is one of those moments when you just shudder uncontrollably.

“Economic security concerns”

What a bullshit way of saying they have resources, and you think you should be able to steal them and get money.

They also do ‘wipe.’ Quite often, actually. I have seen just about every variety of mammal that I’ve observed for longer than a few hours lick their bum clean.

It’s double-speak, right here 41 years later for your aural pleasure.

Wait until my date sees me bust out the five toe socks to go with 'em.

I’ve made the full switch from thinking that hanging up without an extended goodbye ritual was weird, to embracing it. In business calls especially, the conversation has ended, and we’ve concluded the planning for the next conversation. It’s past time to hang up.

I wouldn’t die for your sins, like my famous kin,

but if you got a little sister then there’s room at this inn!

His best buddy was super hung. You can’t tell me the J-man didn’t know about his fellow J’s swinging.

Wait until you hear the real shenanigans. Remember the cards against humanity fricassee with elon musk’s company down near the border? It’s not all that uncommon. I lived in an area with less people than cows for a few years, and there was a famous (true) local legend of a construction company that had put heavy machinery (I think some sort of road roller) in front of a farmer’s front land/gate, then refused to move it when asked. The farmer stacked about 30-50 round bales of hay around said piece of equipment, and told them just what would happen if they tried to ‘steal’ his hay. 6 years later, that equipment was still sitting there, and I’m betting it still is.

I’ll do you better, and someone out there may know it’s me.

I once was in a river,

downstream from many givers,

and then began to shiver…

I felt a slide go past my liver.

There I was alone;

the house far, and across stone;

and my south began to groan;

from my lips I droned, “oh no.”

I tried to climb the rise,`

while tightly clamping thighs,

but as I soon surmised,

I couldn’t hold the surprise.

All the river floaters watched,

as my privacy I botched,

there right upon the stony swatch,

what horror flowed right from my crotch.

Worst experience of my shitting life was when I didn’t defecate prior to the monthly jog. Luckily I could squeeze through the fence of the golf club I was near, and it was early enough nobody was around to ‘report’ me, AND they had the course’s bathroom door unlocked. Now I just exercise at home where there’s a bathroom within safe jumping distance.

I wish I had a gym that was $10 a month. They closed all the gold’s gym express joints a while ago. Those were gold.

That’s the best answer.

I mean, I get it, but this is the same logic that is sometimes used for school shootings. It’s abhorrent to ignore a large increase compared to other places just because it is still a small chance, and therefore do nothing.

I have to think a bullet brick would be much more painful than a bullet point. I’m also curious if it would be more of a cannon than a gun, and thus safer to have in the hands of ‘the people’ because it wouldn’t really be a thing you could carry around on a whim. Would people put it in those little red wagons and walk it like a dog in a movie montage?

We’ll all be your friend here. We just have to avoid all things that could potentially cause strife, because we are on the .world server, after all. No real discussions, no delving into topics that unnerve cowardly mods. Everything is surface level and calm, just like any casual… friendship… without feeling…

You took the blue pill already, didn’t you?

Do you have to have the person in line-of-sight? Is awareness of them enough? Do they need to hear you? Do they need to see you? The “on command” bit is what makes me think they need to be able to be given a command, so at the very least have a speaker nearby. It’s a great bluff though. Who, after all, would actually question it once you’ve made them go several times.

The diarrhoea bit is an idea though. Can you make them poop in different ways? If you can make them have loose, watery stools could you also go the other direction and make them shit bricks? Take 100 men, make them shit bricks, and now you have an industry of adamantium-strength building material. Scale it up as business grows. The world would design around the piddling side effect that the hardest material in the universe is fecal matter. Masks with jasmine would become standard. People would wear skintight bodysuits that are easily removed and recycled in the intimate parts of their homes/offices that are made from non fecal material. Cleanliness would take over the world by necessity. You could be the start of a beautiful, shit-built world…

It’s our duty!