“Least funny member of Newsradio” might be better.

William Barr said there was no wrongdoing. And he’s a paragon of virtue. Absolutely no problematic connections to pedophiles whatsoever.

Nah, it’s Phony Stark.

Short for Avolf.

Yeah, this is seriously double-plus ungood.

He was in charge of American foreign policy during and immediately after the Vietnam War. TLDR he made policy decisions that led to the deaths of probably over 4 million people.

It’s like Joel Dongsteen

You know the difference between chickpeas and garbanzo beans?

I’ve never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

And town lawmakers had a long tradition of speeding.

I’ll always remember a story my buddy told me in high school. His dad was a judge, and absolutely brilliant, and a major alcoholic. One time his dad sat him down and said ‘I think you’ll have a good life. Because you’re smart enough to do well in this world, but not smart enough to realize what a shithole it is.’

I really think that there is a point where if you’re smart enough, you have brain power to really pay attention to everything that goes on in the world. And paying attention to all of that can do serious harm to one’s psyche.

I just don’t want the sun to come up at 5am in the summer.

Scrotapodes.

It’s like Craftsman all over again.

This is why I’ve really been trying to make the ‘Orange Julius’ nickname stick.

In his mind, teaching kids that black people are ok and gays exist is ‘poor education.’

Plenty of people over 70 still have cognitive function. Plenty of people over 70 benefit from decades of experience and relationship-building. Plenty of people over 70 make decisions for the benefit of later generations, either via a sense of altruism or to help their grandkids. Just because someone’s old doesn’t mean they’re shitty.

I’m all for running out the shitty old people, just like I’m for running out the shitty young people. But let’s not discount people for their age, either direction.

Punish him by making him watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves 300 times.

Trump should motion for a bad court thingie.

Why should they get their salary? This is happening because they didn’t do their damn jobs.

I mean that basically happened when Cheney shot that guy in the face.