For me: Gentoo is a meta distro, you are the distro maintainer then the power user of that specific distro you created for yourself which can definitely be fun. Arch is more like: let’s give you one instance of a Gentoo distro when you are tired of being the distro maintainer.
I use paru and the default is “paru” with no parameter for the upgrade. But I am on your team here: I have to Google every single time the -Q params for all the queries and I have been using arch for almost 2 decades now: “who owns this file?” “what are the deps of this package?” “Which packages are installed?” “Which packages I explicitly installed vs dependencies?” Not a single one of them is intuitive to query with the pacman command line for some reason.