Is anyone else as dumb as I am, and thought they were playing spin the bottle with a stick, and now those two plants have to kiss, but the one plant would rather go on vacation right now, completely unplanned, than be forced to kiss THAT plant???
I was confused. But then I saw the light. The flashlight. And then I got it.
Tweenty tweenty four hours agooooo…I wanna be sedated!
No no. What’s wrong is his position.
You lay flat on your back, arms at your sides, face up.
Then you put your legs behind your neck spread wide apart.
Then they strap you down, so you can’t move, and put the ballgag in.
And THEN you…why are you guys looking at me like that? Does your doctor not do this? Have I been going to the wrong unliscensed discount doctor???
Dammit. This is the ball squeezing tailor situation all over again!!!
C’mon now. Old elderly white men who could die any minute is what this country has exclusively elected since 2016.
If anything he has a better chance than AOC at being president, simply for having white hair, wrinkles, and a penis.
Well, a big part of the show is getting people in the front all wet and sticky. Making a real mess!!!
This is done by hitting watermellons with giant mallots, and spraying everyone with the chaos!
…wait. I’m thinking of Gallagher. They should tour together.
“MY LAPTOP DOESN’T WORK!!!”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“I CAN’T GO TO ALEX JONES CONSPIRACY EMPORIUM!”
“Oh. That’s because I blocked it.”
“WHAT??? UNBLOCK IT!!!”
“No.” closes bedroom door
Whats not to know?
Step 1) Open the browser.
There is no step 2. Just go wherever you want, and read. Or watch videos. If you don’t know where something is, search for it. The browser does all the work. That’s like saying you don’t know how to use a microwave.
Here’s how you make people aware of your products.
You sell a quality product for a reasonable price.
That’s it.
Instead, capitolism has become this game of cat and mouse where the consumers ALWAYS lose. Just a game of shrinking product sizes, reducing quality, and raising prices. Little by little.
It’s most obvious when you haven’t had a product in a while, maybe years, and you grab it again. Only to realize they’ve gone through several iterations of enshitification.
When I was a kid, Andy Capps Cheese Fries used to be about as long as my pinky, and they were thick. Now it’s like the length of my pinky until my second knockle, and it’s like the same thickness as a pretzle stick. Sure, it’s technically the same product, but everytime I buy them I realize why I was disappointed the last time I bought them. And I won’t buy them for another 5 years. Maybe by then they’ll be the length of my pinky nail and as thick as a sewing pin, but cost 8 dollars instead of the 25 cents it was when I was a kid.
They did a durability test on hammers. In one side was an old rusty hammer. It had a date of 1931 on it. In the other was a brand new hammer bought that same day from Home Depot.
The new hammer crumbled long before the 1931 hammer did. This test was done in 2017.
But I never buy products because they advertise. I buy them because I remember how good it was the last time.
Except now, you’re advertising BAD memories. Because when I go in expecting this much, with this quality, and instead I get a fraction of it, with only a fraction of the quality…congradulations. You saved money on production costs. You also pushed your customer away from being a repeat customer.
All this business schools, and all the data they have I’m sure shows that their way is better. So explain to me why it seems businesses these days struggle to make the line go up, but when I was a kid business was booming?
Someone like AOC is the only shot at a president that would actually release it.
You act like Bernie doesn’t exist. I’m 100% confident that he’s not assosiated with that hot mess in any way.
Like I feel like that would be an obvious thing,
I would have NEVER thought of this…
How are there no personal versions for wandering around on a sunny day with portable shade that gets you a charged battery pack?
Oh my god! THATS what umbrella man was doing! Whew! Solved a huge conspiracy there!
…wait, but that STILL proves he was a time traveler! Dammit!
Comic sans wasn’t invented yet.
I mean, I joke, but it probably actually wasn’t.
One can hope…but it’s team sport politics afterall.
And as always, Jurassic Park teaches us everything we need to know.
“They’re moving in herds…they DO move in herds!”
Well hello there!
slams face into wall
skips away giggling
I hope linked it right.
Welp…
Don’t make new communities for topics that already have communities on Lemmy. You CAN, but, like all things in life, Jurassic Park teaches us best.
“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they COULD they never stopped to think if they SHOULD!”
And as we all know, if you ignore the teachings of Jurassic Park, a T-Rex will eat you as you sit on the toilet.
Treat women the same way that you treat men.
Oh god, that’s terrible advice!
Me with men: “Damn Frank! You see that hottie by the bar?”
“Yeah. I spent the night with her last week! And then again in the morning!”
“Nice!” slaps Franks ass
everybody laughs
The next day:
“Damn Amber! You see that hot stud by the bar?”
“The…the what?”
looks over to bar, only see one person, a guy
“That’s my husband. Wait…are you bi?”
“No. Just treating you like one of the guys. So that’s your husband? Nice!”
slaps ambers ass
deafing silence as Amber rightfully glares
Cool cool cool cool.