Dude made a fortune on merch, I see red shirts and grey hoodies all the time

Why am I getting Bobobo vibes? There better not be an epic battle of ass hair vs pubic hair happening just outside…

If everyone sucks at driving, odds are that you do too (I’m not excluding myself from this). Most people just don’t realize it. But yes some people are more stupid than others…

Thanks! You’re hot too, dawg!

You forgot to take into account leap years or as I’ve come to call them the leaping gnu/years

Does skydiving without a parachute count as a jumpscare? Because I feel like there’s not much to fear except death in that situation…

According to the questionable celebrity health statistics website I found… Danny DeVito is 70kg, which is 11 stone… So it’s more like the chef lost almost 1.9 Danny DeVitos. We Americans may have weird measuring systems, but we take them seriously!

I was wondering what happened to the drone delivery Amazon promised… It all makes sense now…

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start digging holes…

I’m uncomfortable swallowing such a large iron supplement…

Damn, okay, but if you also die of embarrassment from doing something so stupid… That would be 4 times… So it would all cancel out since it’s an even number! Booyah!

Okay, I want that dance on my desk by Monday

Yeah, honestly sounds like something you’d try when you have no shame. Not that I’m judging, just there’s a certain low you have to sink to to be the first one to try that…

Braille toilet paper is a real missed opportunity…

I prefer saying it’s 9:270°

That’s why all the rich people say they’re makin cheddar

Shrek Punch: onion juice followed by a taste of ass and waffles

More like Cosmic-sans…

For the hungry hoopy frood on the go!

touch cat
echo Oreo > cat
cat cat

Edit: for some reason mine’s saying Hydrox… results may vary.