A bit of advance for those who want very loud shits: get your ass crack waxed. I’m not even joking here, you will gain godlike powers in public restrooms. Consider for a moment how loud you can clap your hands. Now consider how much quieter your clap would be if your hands were covered in hair. I was dating an aesthetician once who waxed my ass after a boyzillian. My shits reverberated the corporate bathroom until the hair grew back in.
Couple the shaved ass with a diet consisting exclusively of beans, cabbage, broccoli, and soft cheeses and baby you got a category 5 ass-tastrophy brewing
I mean the itching was horrible but I’ve shaved enough other parts to know that going in. I’m talking about the farts. A silent butthole is essential to my daily function.
A bit of advance for those who want very loud shits: get your ass crack waxed. I’m not even joking here, you will gain godlike powers in public restrooms. Consider for a moment how loud you can clap your hands. Now consider how much quieter your clap would be if your hands were covered in hair. I was dating an aesthetician once who waxed my ass after a boyzillian. My shits reverberated the corporate bathroom until the hair grew back in.
Couple the shaved ass with a diet consisting exclusively of beans, cabbage, broccoli, and soft cheeses and baby you got a category 5 ass-tastrophy brewing
Mama Mia!
One time I shaved my butthole. One time. Not making that mistake again. I cherish my ass hair now.
The real mistake is only doing it once. It won’t itch or bother you after the first couple of times.
I mean the itching was horrible but I’ve shaved enough other parts to know that going in. I’m talking about the farts. A silent butthole is essential to my daily function.
IME you just need to spread the cheeks a little bit to avoid the loud ones
Finally, another Shitnobi
Exactly what are you eager for, Mr. Eagle?
butt cheeks on a stick would be nice
PuPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP sploosh
Onomatopoopia
Next time I’m in a public bathroom and someone’s super loud, I’m totally saying outloud ‘someome shaves their anus’ before leaving.