• Fecundpossum@lemmy.worldEnglish
      111·
      4 hours ago

      Nope. Never wanted to waste my time to find out someone was terrible at intimacy. Wife and I slept with each other on our third date, and all these years later still can’t keep our hands off each other.

      You do you, but that puritanical shit was always a red flag for me.

      • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
        4·
        3 hours ago

        Also I never understood “take it slow”. What’s slow? 90 days? A year? 2 years? A decade?

        Then there’s the “you should be single for a bit”. Okay I’ve been single for 5 months, but then “no I’ve been single for two years”. You mean I’m not supposed to have intimacy for some arbitrary amount of time? I’m supposed to ignore any advance by anyone no matter how great they may be? I’ve missed so many good eggs that way.

        • Fecundpossum@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          2 hours ago

          I’ve always been of the understanding that people who do the whole “no sex until “x” event or time span” thing seem to consider sex to be a transactional performance, as opposed to raw form of human connection. They expect commitment to come before that connection, and use their withholding as a form of manipulation. To which my reply was always “Next”

          • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.eeEnglish
            2·
            17 minutes ago

            100%

            It also sets weird and potentially false expectations around sex as an event, which puts undue pressure on both parties, rather than something that simply happens as a natural course of a relationship evolving.

      • Jessie@lemmy.ca
        13·
        2 hours ago

        that puritanical shit lmao who said anything about this being religious? I don’t follow anything.

        It’s called “being queer & careful with your partner; getting STI tests, getting to know each other, adjusting to each other’s rhythm”

        sheesh…