Hot take, but with so many actual sexual assailants and literal pedophiles in the world, I will just never be able to give two shits about what Leo does or does not do with other legal consenting adults, sorry.
Leo’s relationships are also transactional and both parties understand that. He gets arm candy and the women get access to high level movie executives/producers.
And another point, as a man a lot younger than say Salma Hayek. I’d happily be her young handsome piece of action. I would also get to be with an extremely attractive woman.
The same goes for these women and Leonardo Di Caprio. He is objectively an attractive man. It’s also bragging rights. I was in a relarionship with x-celeb. Of course many women dream of being with him, and of course a lot of them are gorgeous.
I think they are both having a great time, and see no reason to judge.
I fully agree let’s care about the things that actually matter and actually hurt people.
Hotter take: This shit perpetuates women as sexual objects though, which, in some cases, might even make it easier for someone to rationalize their violence against a woman
What shit? Allowing adults to make autonomous choices rather than infantilizing and pre-ascribing victim status to them?
Again, y’all can’t pretend we’re talking about children, we are talking about full legal adults with rights to autonomy.
If there is coercion or abuse, absolutely demonize and mobilize against that. But until there is, all you have is suspicion and suggestions that infantilize the real adult women in the scenario.
Dating women who are just old enough to be legal but only while they look youthful. While being in a societal position where your life is public and you can do whatever you want, the latter of which many look up to. This normalizes dating women for looks, namely for looking young, instead of for having things in common. This doesn’t exactly improve how women are viewed. Youngness isn’t a woman’s biggest asset and we shouldn’t encourage the normalization of the view that it is. The fact that some women are complicit in this doesn’t change it.
People are allowed to date for whatever reason they want. As long as two adults are freely consenting it’s not up to you to be the moral police and decide what should push people to date each other.
They can date for the looks, to look or feel younger, to go outside their comfort zone, for sexual pleasure, for pure intellectual attraction, for material benefit, for […long list].
This is one of the instances in which the good goal of fighting abuse becomes bigotry. It’s basically like religious moralism.
This would be true in a vacuum where marginalization and power dynamics don’t exist. It’s a symptom of women’s systemic oppression and needs to be called out as that in order to fight womens oppression. Especially since this is happening in the public eye and thus shaping people’s views. I’m not doubting the women are consenting, and they’re not to blame at all. It’s Leo and the media and public opinion that are doing harm by framing this situation as desirable.
There are a million valid reasons to value and date a person, and their looks, even potentially the youthfulness of those looks, is one the same as any other. We don’t live in the world of perfect reason devoid of animalism that you’re pretending; sexual attraction is and is always going to be a part of the equation. While we should continue making strides to ensure women are valued for their contributions to society and have more equitable positions and opportunities, I do not believe that means sterilizing or desexifying society nor artificially pretending the inherently inequitable nature of human attractiveness is somehow something that can be forced into equity through social pressure. Life is just simply more nuanced than that.
When I read your whole comment, I feel like you’re ascribing the blame in the wrong place. It’s the “many” who choose to look up to these people, using their standards in place of their own, that I would say is the real issue here. Leo doing this does not normalize dating women for looks for me. Neither does Pharrell Williams buying a cybertruck and riding around in it influence or normalize cybertrucks for me. If people want things based on superficial reasons, they’ll learn that it’s only superficial and doesn’t have substance.
You’re right, those are to blame too. That’s why I made the comment. I didn’t think it’d reach Leo. I thought I’d make a person or two think about whether that’s ok behaviour to emulate and an ok view on women to have.
I think you’re making serious assumptions and assuming a binary where none exists.
First off, nobody, here or in mainstream popular culture, is holding Leo’s relationships as model behavior. Leo may perhaps have “role model” status, but all avenues to which that moniker can be affixed apply to his body of work, talent, work ethic, etc; there is just nobody in mainstream culture referring to him as a role model in terms of romantic entanglements, at least not seriously.
So with that in mind, let’s discuss the binary here. Things aren’t either good or bad, they just simply aren’t. A entire gulf of experience in neutrality lays between the enviable and damned. So as I see it, the question here, at least the one posed by my comment, isn’t “are Leo’s relationships enviable role model behavior?,” because I don’t think that was ever in question, but rather “are Leo’s relationships damnedable?”, and to that the answer is a clear and resounding no, for me at least.
Nothing I said could even be reasonably misconstrued to indicate that I do.
I’m asking people to examine their potential biases when they are ok with the symptoms of the marginalisation of certain groups of people.
The people who use what society reduces them to to their benefit in the few instances that they can arent to blame in the slightest btw. I just hope they’ll get past this without trauma, unlike every woman I know that dated an older man very shortly after becoming a legal adult.
What wild transformation does a human undergo on their 18th birthday that makes dating a 17yo as a 50yo man pedophilia, but dating a 18yo totally ok? Both ages are way too young for him.
For most of humanity “childhood” wasn’t even a concept in the way we think of it today. Our ability to give the people in society this gift of childhood is truly one of the greatest achievements of modernity. But it’s still a somewhat arbitrary line in the sand we drew, yes. I personally believe it is a reasonable one, designed conservative enough so that one can safely assume anyone on the other side of the line has had the chance to develop and grow free of unnecessary outside influence to rightly be deemed an adult after.
If society wants to redefine the terms of where that line is drawn, that is fine, as we as members of society can do so.
But for the time being we drew the line at 18. It seemed fucked as hell to say “this is the line, this is what’s appropriate” and then demonize a man for staying within those lines. It’s fucked to say “here’s the line” when you actually mean “actually the real line is way over there and by being this close you’ve actually broken the rules.”
Dude is staying inside the lines, and interacting with those we have deemed full legal adults imbued with the right and power of autonomy. To the best of my understanding there have been no claims of coercion, abuse, or anything of that nature. So I’m sorry, but trying to convince me that dude is doing something wrong by adhering to the rules as laid for him just isn’t going to vibe with me.
I’ve always been appalled by those who calibrate their morals based on the legal framework, rather than the other way around. Hopefully wherever you live doesn’t start allowing slavery, child marriage etc. Following the law was quite during the 40s too, ask Coco Channel. Who can blame her?
There is validity to this argument, certainly, but we are not talking about a social moral defined solely by legality, we are discussing a case where legality was defined within the confines of social expectation.
Legality is not inherently morality, but it can be an indicator of social morals.
There will be times when they are at odds, but I have yet to hear a compelling case in this situation.
So I ask, what social harm is being caused by defining adulthood at 18? And let’s be clear, I am looking for actual harm here, not potential for harm; going through a dangerous intersection is not the same thing as experiencing a car accident.
No, it doesn’t. I address this with “I personally believe it is a reasonable one, designed conservative enough so that one can safely assume anyone on the other side of the line has had the chance to develop and grow free of unnecessary outside influence to rightly be deemed an adult after,” where I clearly state that I think 18 is a reasonable age. You’re welcome to disagree with and argue with my points but I am not going to allow you to insult my character for the sake of attempting to win your argument.
I will also be blocking you for this, because I have zero interest in engaging in a bad faith argument.
It is legal for insurance companies to deny claims. So I guess we shouldn’t be mad at the CEO of UnitedHealth because he stayed within the lines that were drawn by our society. Luigi was evil for killing a man that hasn’t done anything wrong.
Legality does not equal morality. Legal or not, he is a creep.
The frontal cortex matures from roughly 14 to the early 20s, characteristic of that age is to be both impulsive and confused, while the cortex is already fully functional you’re still figuring out what to actually use it for.
That is: In the early 20s you become fully adult. Not in the legal sense (that’s usually 18), but biologically. You’re a grown-up. To argue that they can’t make their own decisions is highly infantilising.
So there you have a guy who’s a bit older, but very charming and generally fit, probably good in bed, a gentleman all around, he’s famous and you have a modelling career that could take a bit of a boost. You get along well with each other. You enjoy the interplay between a fresh outlook on life and some more settled experience, it’s invigorating both of you. Is there a transaction in that arrangement? Sure. But it’s one that 20yolds are adult enough to enter with full awareness of what they’re doing. Is it for you? Probably not, from what I gather. Is it your place to judge? Neither.
I wasn’t blaming the women though so what you’re saying here is irrelevant. Leo is using his status of fame and whealth to get very young women to date him, and replaces them with someone younger after a few years. Legal? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.
So you’re not blaming the women, you’re not saying that they don’t know what they’re getting into, either, everyone knows what Leo is up to, so you’re calling Leo creepy for – not questioning decisions the women make?
There’s also a weird characterisation of agency, here. You’re only characterising Leo as an active participant, not the women, you’re saying what Leo does is use things that he has, passively (fame, wealth), to actively “get” women. I’d be much more convinced if you said he’s a good flirt. Are women such passive creatures that when they see someone rich and famous, they just cannot help themselves but spread their legs? I find it hard to reconcile such a narrative with feminism, it’s absolutely regressive.
Hot take, but with so many actual sexual assailants and literal pedophiles in the world, I will just never be able to give two shits about what Leo does or does not do with other legal consenting adults, sorry.
Leo’s relationships are also transactional and both parties understand that. He gets arm candy and the women get access to high level movie executives/producers.
And another point, as a man a lot younger than say Salma Hayek. I’d happily be her young handsome piece of action. I would also get to be with an extremely attractive woman.
The same goes for these women and Leonardo Di Caprio. He is objectively an attractive man. It’s also bragging rights. I was in a relarionship with x-celeb. Of course many women dream of being with him, and of course a lot of them are gorgeous.
I think they are both having a great time, and see no reason to judge.
I fully agree let’s care about the things that actually matter and actually hurt people.
It’s sexist but an older man and a younger woman is judged totally different to an older woman and a younger man.
Ideally we’d just ask if both are happy and everything is healthy.
Hotter take: This shit perpetuates women as sexual objects though, which, in some cases, might even make it easier for someone to rationalize their violence against a woman
What shit? Allowing adults to make autonomous choices rather than infantilizing and pre-ascribing victim status to them?
Again, y’all can’t pretend we’re talking about children, we are talking about full legal adults with rights to autonomy.
If there is coercion or abuse, absolutely demonize and mobilize against that. But until there is, all you have is suspicion and suggestions that infantilize the real adult women in the scenario.
Dating women who are just old enough to be legal but only while they look youthful. While being in a societal position where your life is public and you can do whatever you want, the latter of which many look up to. This normalizes dating women for looks, namely for looking young, instead of for having things in common. This doesn’t exactly improve how women are viewed. Youngness isn’t a woman’s biggest asset and we shouldn’t encourage the normalization of the view that it is. The fact that some women are complicit in this doesn’t change it.
People are allowed to date for whatever reason they want. As long as two adults are freely consenting it’s not up to you to be the moral police and decide what should push people to date each other.
They can date for the looks, to look or feel younger, to go outside their comfort zone, for sexual pleasure, for pure intellectual attraction, for material benefit, for […long list].
This is one of the instances in which the good goal of fighting abuse becomes bigotry. It’s basically like religious moralism.
This would be true in a vacuum where marginalization and power dynamics don’t exist. It’s a symptom of women’s systemic oppression and needs to be called out as that in order to fight womens oppression. Especially since this is happening in the public eye and thus shaping people’s views. I’m not doubting the women are consenting, and they’re not to blame at all. It’s Leo and the media and public opinion that are doing harm by framing this situation as desirable.
Hard disagree.
Also there are plenty of opposite examples (i.e., older women celebrities dating younger guys), what is that a symptom of?
This has nothing to do with feminism imho. In fact, I would say the opposite, it’s an attempt to prescribe what women should do. Religious morality.
There are a million valid reasons to value and date a person, and their looks, even potentially the youthfulness of those looks, is one the same as any other. We don’t live in the world of perfect reason devoid of animalism that you’re pretending; sexual attraction is and is always going to be a part of the equation. While we should continue making strides to ensure women are valued for their contributions to society and have more equitable positions and opportunities, I do not believe that means sterilizing or desexifying society nor artificially pretending the inherently inequitable nature of human attractiveness is somehow something that can be forced into equity through social pressure. Life is just simply more nuanced than that.
When I read your whole comment, I feel like you’re ascribing the blame in the wrong place. It’s the “many” who choose to look up to these people, using their standards in place of their own, that I would say is the real issue here. Leo doing this does not normalize dating women for looks for me. Neither does Pharrell Williams buying a cybertruck and riding around in it influence or normalize cybertrucks for me. If people want things based on superficial reasons, they’ll learn that it’s only superficial and doesn’t have substance.
You’re right, those are to blame too. That’s why I made the comment. I didn’t think it’d reach Leo. I thought I’d make a person or two think about whether that’s ok behaviour to emulate and an ok view on women to have.
I think you’re making serious assumptions and assuming a binary where none exists.
First off, nobody, here or in mainstream popular culture, is holding Leo’s relationships as model behavior. Leo may perhaps have “role model” status, but all avenues to which that moniker can be affixed apply to his body of work, talent, work ethic, etc; there is just nobody in mainstream culture referring to him as a role model in terms of romantic entanglements, at least not seriously.
So with that in mind, let’s discuss the binary here. Things aren’t either good or bad, they just simply aren’t. A entire gulf of experience in neutrality lays between the enviable and damned. So as I see it, the question here, at least the one posed by my comment, isn’t “are Leo’s relationships enviable role model behavior?,” because I don’t think that was ever in question, but rather “are Leo’s relationships damnedable?”, and to that the answer is a clear and resounding no, for me at least.
So you want to take agency away from every adult so they conform to your views only?
Nothing I said could even be reasonably misconstrued to indicate that I do.
I’m asking people to examine their potential biases when they are ok with the symptoms of the marginalisation of certain groups of people.
The people who use what society reduces them to to their benefit in the few instances that they can arent to blame in the slightest btw. I just hope they’ll get past this without trauma, unlike every woman I know that dated an older man very shortly after becoming a legal adult.
the thing is, you know he’d go younger if it was legalOk i was wrong, according to the famous reddit chart, he didn’t date anyone below 20 after 25 so he does seem to have a lower limit.
In my opinion though that lower limit should adapt to your age. Of course the specifics of that are highly debatable, but the idea is there.
Do you? Because that sounds like an assumption to me.
if he is 50 dating 20yo’s, why wouldn’t he? what’s the difference between 20yo and 17yo when you’re 50?
The difference between a grown adult without that much life experience and a literal child who is still going through puberty!
“grown adult” at 20? yeah sure
both ages are incredibly young for a 50yo grandpa
Adulthood is the difference.
What wild transformation does a human undergo on their 18th birthday that makes dating a 17yo as a 50yo man pedophilia, but dating a 18yo totally ok? Both ages are way too young for him.
Legality.
For most of humanity “childhood” wasn’t even a concept in the way we think of it today. Our ability to give the people in society this gift of childhood is truly one of the greatest achievements of modernity. But it’s still a somewhat arbitrary line in the sand we drew, yes. I personally believe it is a reasonable one, designed conservative enough so that one can safely assume anyone on the other side of the line has had the chance to develop and grow free of unnecessary outside influence to rightly be deemed an adult after.
If society wants to redefine the terms of where that line is drawn, that is fine, as we as members of society can do so.
But for the time being we drew the line at 18. It seemed fucked as hell to say “this is the line, this is what’s appropriate” and then demonize a man for staying within those lines. It’s fucked to say “here’s the line” when you actually mean “actually the real line is way over there and by being this close you’ve actually broken the rules.”
Dude is staying inside the lines, and interacting with those we have deemed full legal adults imbued with the right and power of autonomy. To the best of my understanding there have been no claims of coercion, abuse, or anything of that nature. So I’m sorry, but trying to convince me that dude is doing something wrong by adhering to the rules as laid for him just isn’t going to vibe with me.
I’ve always been appalled by those who calibrate their morals based on the legal framework, rather than the other way around. Hopefully wherever you live doesn’t start allowing slavery, child marriage etc. Following the law was quite during the 40s too, ask Coco Channel. Who can blame her?
There is validity to this argument, certainly, but we are not talking about a social moral defined solely by legality, we are discussing a case where legality was defined within the confines of social expectation.
Legality is not inherently morality, but it can be an indicator of social morals.
There will be times when they are at odds, but I have yet to hear a compelling case in this situation.
So I ask, what social harm is being caused by defining adulthood at 18? And let’s be clear, I am looking for actual harm here, not potential for harm; going through a dangerous intersection is not the same thing as experiencing a car accident.
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No, it doesn’t. I address this with “I personally believe it is a reasonable one, designed conservative enough so that one can safely assume anyone on the other side of the line has had the chance to develop and grow free of unnecessary outside influence to rightly be deemed an adult after,” where I clearly state that I think 18 is a reasonable age. You’re welcome to disagree with and argue with my points but I am not going to allow you to insult my character for the sake of attempting to win your argument.
I will also be blocking you for this, because I have zero interest in engaging in a bad faith argument.
It is legal for insurance companies to deny claims. So I guess we shouldn’t be mad at the CEO of UnitedHealth because he stayed within the lines that were drawn by our society. Luigi was evil for killing a man that hasn’t done anything wrong.
Legality does not equal morality. Legal or not, he is a creep.
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The frontal cortex matures from roughly 14 to the early 20s, characteristic of that age is to be both impulsive and confused, while the cortex is already fully functional you’re still figuring out what to actually use it for.
That is: In the early 20s you become fully adult. Not in the legal sense (that’s usually 18), but biologically. You’re a grown-up. To argue that they can’t make their own decisions is highly infantilising.
So there you have a guy who’s a bit older, but very charming and generally fit, probably good in bed, a gentleman all around, he’s famous and you have a modelling career that could take a bit of a boost. You get along well with each other. You enjoy the interplay between a fresh outlook on life and some more settled experience, it’s invigorating both of you. Is there a transaction in that arrangement? Sure. But it’s one that 20yolds are adult enough to enter with full awareness of what they’re doing. Is it for you? Probably not, from what I gather. Is it your place to judge? Neither.
how can you call 30 years “a bit older” lmao
I wasn’t blaming the women though so what you’re saying here is irrelevant. Leo is using his status of fame and whealth to get very young women to date him, and replaces them with someone younger after a few years. Legal? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.
So you’re not blaming the women, you’re not saying that they don’t know what they’re getting into, either, everyone knows what Leo is up to, so you’re calling Leo creepy for – not questioning decisions the women make?
There’s also a weird characterisation of agency, here. You’re only characterising Leo as an active participant, not the women, you’re saying what Leo does is use things that he has, passively (fame, wealth), to actively “get” women. I’d be much more convinced if you said he’s a good flirt. Are women such passive creatures that when they see someone rich and famous, they just cannot help themselves but spread their legs? I find it hard to reconcile such a narrative with feminism, it’s absolutely regressive.
Hollywood can and does go younger. Do you think Epstein Island was the only place where the powerful pedophiles go? Laws don’t matter to these people.
Has anyone even accused DiCaprio of SA?