As a Christian minister, I believe in God and the devil — and I know whose side today’s pious Republicans are on
Where is that devil and what is he up to? First of all, like in any good horror movie, the devil is always right here in the house. In the case of the current evangelical political machine, the devil is all too often wearing pastoral robes and expensive tailored suits. For many years, the evangelical church has pointed to the devil outside in the world, but the devil is the one doing the pointing. Secondly, the devil is always up to the same thing: creating division through fear.
I’m an atheist, but the Old Testament certainly gives me sympathy for Lucifer rebelling against a tyrant like this:
See also God punishing the serpent for encouraging humans to seek knowledge and God punishing humans for not remaining ignorant.
What’s more, God is omniscient. He knew the serpent would tempt Eve. He knew they would eat the fruit. And yet, he still put it in easy reach. Then punished them when they did what he knew they were going to do.
What he designed them to do, on fact.
I mean, it’s all part of god’s plan
God created the sickness and sells the cure. The OG conman.
There’s also Exodus, where Pharaoh is going to let the Jews free but then God hardens his heart and he says no. Why? Because God told Moses he would say no. And then God tortures all the Egyptians for it and murders their kids afterward.
And then tells Jews that he’s gonna drown the Egyptians in the Red Sea, does it, and then yells at the Jews for celebrating.
Celebrating their freedom… From the Egyptians… Who God manipulated… Did… Did God enslave the Jews??? Oh man, my people were chosen by God, but God’s a bitchy bully!
Also, show me one non-biblical piece of evidence that my kind were ever enslaved in Egypt.
We weren’t, but don’t let that get around or I won’t be able to call myself a Red Sea Pedestrian like in Life of Brian.
Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad…
Even dumber. “Just kidding, bro. Sacrifice this goat instead. Yeah, the one just hanging out over there you could have sacrificed this whole time. Remember how you told your son God would provide an animal? That animal, doofus.”
God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son”
Abe say, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on”
God say, “No” Abe say, “What?”
God say, "You can do what you want Abe, but
Next time you see me comin’, you better run"
Abe said, “Where do you want this killin’ done?”
God said, “Out on Highway 61”