While 100% in the don’t fake it camp, please also remember us men are not mind readers and our equipment works different. Much like with cooking and cleaning, if you don’t tell us what we are doing wrong or better yet show us the right way, we are going to assume we did our part cause we got the result we wanted and you didn’t complain or ask for something different.
Also a woman’s ability to cum varies HIGHLY from person to person.
Funnily enough, this is the case for men too. Hence all the “this has never happened to me before” memes on TV shows in the 90s and 00s.
I’ve noticed a pretty direct correlation with a woman’s habit of masturbating and her ability to orgasm during sex. The chick I was seeing just before I went back to college, I’d believe it if you told me that I’ve played with her clit more than she ever has TO THIS DAY, and guess what? She never once gave me any suggestion on what she wanted me to do, I’m sure because she genuinely didn’t know.
I’d say day to day as well, depending on many factors (stress, energy level, hormones, etc.)
Just communicate and see what’s working or not, or if anything works at all. It will make the sex better for everyone involved.
What I happened to notice with different girls as a guy is that for many, of not most, telling/showing the right way is a turn-off and having something the right way without showing first is a source of tremendous excitement.
With that said, we, men, are still not mind readers, and women really do have it very differently, so some common sex education, while useful, can only cover the basics, and even they are not universally applicable.
I dunno man, most women in my experience have all really appreciated (and as much said out loud) that there was communication. Sure, if it happens without any prompting or guidance, it’s mind blowing because it feels like there’s something naturally special going on, but that’s a pretty rare thing. Sexual compatibility can be tweaked and guided, for sure, but then again there are also people who just don’t have it together.
There are also just toxic people that want perfection with zero work. But that’s not how shit works, even if they can be a vocal group
telling/showing the right way is a turn-off
I don’t think OP is talking about a PowerPoint presentation (unless that’s your kink, you do you), but more like some verbal cues “faster” “don’t stop” “a little lower” etc. If the guy has a reasonable amount of attentiveness and experience, he should be able to get her 80% of the way there. Also, little cues like that can be hot as well because we know she’s into it and stuff.
I know the tone of this is supposed to be “haha you suck” but if you fake it then you’re only going to make the guy keep doing the thing that didn’t work. Help them learn how to be better because they can’t feel what you’re feeling.
I don’t like the overall message society gives that men need to be “good at sex” instead of people mutually enjoying the experience.
To me it’s akin to someone calling you boring to talk with, while they contribute nothing to the conversation other than showing up.
they can’t feel what you’re feeling.
Well, the fun part is, if you’re doing it right, you absolutely can… But if it’s never happened before, you don’t know what you’re missing.
I mean in the literal sense.
37s?
Of ploughing?Look at this champ!
I feel like as.a.woman I.have to.point out that, many times, a woman orgasming or not is not.your fuck’s fault.
I would also.like to point out that it is harder to orgasm in “normal” sex than is it with oral, so.if your girl didn’t orgasm don’t take it personally, pull your pants up and go down on her
I believe your comment is suffering from irregular periods.
It might be low on iron, or overtraining
I understand you are a woman but you really need to get control of your periods here.
Oh my god…
Agree. Let me add that some women don’t orgasm at all or do orgasm and don’t like it - yes, the world is a diverse place.
Communication is key in any relationship.
There’s also women who can not orgasm by in-and-out movements (like: the act of fucking) and it just hurts them after a while. Had to find that out the hard way.
Positions and angles of attack can matter. Something that feels good for one girl does nothing for or hurts another. And it’s not necessarily a matter of “I like this position” because it’s about how your two bodies interact. It’s very possible you both like different things. I had a girlfriend fairly early on where we pretty quickly realized I liked this and she liked that, and we’d take turns doing the other’s favorite. Dynamics of sexual relationships became a lot less adult after high school.
I think people would be really surprised at the wide variety of shapes for women insides. Some shapes just don’t get rubbed the same way.
Or, first ask for directions, go down and stay down, keep listening and doing exactly what she says, until she gets there first. THEN bring your dick to the party. For many of us the second and successive orgasms are much quicker and easier to achieve, even from penetrative sex.
I’m surprised this is news to people but I guess sex education varies between countries maybe.
Sex ed is often about how babby formed and less about erotic technique.
No sex education in Pakistan ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Or you could teach him. Better for both of you.
Most men are a lot more receptive to input than many women give us credit for. For the mist part, men do not want to be known as a terrible lay. If your man doesn’t think he needs pointers, get someone else to treat you right.
Or rather: don’t fake orgasms, make sure he knows if there’s something he can do better.
Constrictive criticism and pointers is how we get better, especially at doing the things YOU specifically like.
If he can’t roll with that, though, kick his ass to the curb. Maybe point and laugh at his weird penis first 😛
Yeah, please. Why be deceptive? It serves no one.
Better yet, take responsibility for your own pleasure. Play an active role in getting what you want out of the act. Communicate. Why wouldn’t you?
I’ve heard from a lot of women that a portion of men take any attempt to provide suggestions as a direct attack on their masculinity
Well that’s just two reasons not to date them since those guys all probably listen to Tate.
Not just men, I’m a lesbian and I’ve experienced this with women too. Some people are really sensitive to constructive criticism especially during intimacy.
especially during intimacy.
Well that does make sense when you think about it. That’s when you’re at your most vulnerable. I personally wouldn’t mind because lust overpowers all of my other emotions during sex lmao. Though for some people, I think it would be best to talk about it after the deed is done.
Yup that’s definitely why. And a lot of people other than the hyper sexual have a lot of insecurities around sex even if they didn’t grow up in a culture that made it taboo.
This happens when providing suggestions to anyone about anything when you’re dealing with an insecure person.
Sometimes you just want the fucking to end but he won’t give up.
Squeezing balls make wonders or so I heard.
As someone without balls, can you explain?
The balls often get neglected. Give them a little gentle attention too. Basically, do the kind of things that would feel good if done to your breasts (cupping them, light scratches and tickles, a gentile squeeze, a medium tug, ect.). Combined with a halfway decent stroking or sucking, it’ll take care of most guys in pretty short order. Any other questions you don’t want to ask someone who you’ll have to see again? Happy to educate. I’m a male nurse if that somehow makes it less weird.
Have you heard about that wild thing you can do called “communication”
“It’s ok babe, I’m good, my thighs are sore.”
“No, I’m gonna get you off tonight!”Sometimes the kind thing to do is just fake it. It doesn’t mean the sex was bad, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t satisfied. But getting to the Big O is often times just too much trouble.
Tell him it’s not going to happen. It’s okay if it doesn’t. The important part is he tried.
I keep a box of “You Tried!” stickers in my nightstand for this very reason
> Lies there like a dead fish
> Barely participates
> Expects pleasure beyond wildest dreams
> “Why are men so bad at sex?”Have you tried giving instructions? My experience is everyone is different and some people need to be told what to do. Is that a fit for you? Maybe not then move on.
“move your arse… faster… faster… Now put your hand on your tits…”
This but unironically.
Any female lucky enough to end up in bed passed out from pleasure, so can’t say I’ve ever had this problem.
(for the daft: obviously I’m not being serious)
Can you rewrite what you said but this time use English?
You’re an average USAmerican, aren’t you?
Pretty sure calling women “females” is given the side eye in every English dialect.
Males, females. What’s wrong with that?
It’s dehumanizing.
I’m lucky my wife orgasms easily from PIV makes me feel like a champ but really it’s just her body that makes it happen.
PIV (Pontoon Implantment Vehicle)
I JUST HAD SEX
I kissed a girl and I liked it, but as I’m a heterosexual man, that’s not especially transgressive.
How is he supposed to get better if you don’t give feedback?
Exactly. Leave a one star review for his address on Google Maps or something.
As a chronic premature ejaculator, just get good with your tongue and pushing past the refactory period to go for round 2 (which lasts ages 👍)
Btw what is the reason the second one lasts so much longer?
not a doctor, but its probably the change in hormones that cause the refactory period that changes the response for round 2
The ability ‘orgasm’ is on cool down.
More like
Fake orgasms and just pee on him to secretly assert dominance
Dominance? I’d be ready for three more rounds immediately.
Please don’t pee on your partner without consent.
